I Had Crush On Teacher

I Told My Male Teacher I Had A Crush On Him 

Let me start off by saying that I am gay, and since the first day of school I had a big

crush on my male Computer Applications teacher (much harder class than it sounds). I ran into him during lunch and as we both said "hi" I immediately thought to myself that school is almost over, and I need to let it out to someone since it has been bottled up. So I asked him if I could come in after school to talk about my grade. While I actually did need to talk about my grade I had something else in mind. I kept my feelings for him bottled up for so long and I felt like I had to tell somebody, and I knew that I couldn't tell my friends no matter who I trusted the most. I knew that if I just told a counselor it wouldn't feel right, I felt like it wouldn't be right unless HE knew,, I can't really explain it. 

So after the bell rang and most of the students happily went home, I walked straight up to my class... First I asked him to grade a couple of assignments from when I was absent, he was really busy doing something on the computer that he barely payed attention to me the whole time. While still looking at the computer he said "Is there anything else that you need". At this moment I sat down and quietly asked if he could keep the following conversation between us. At this moment he logged off of his computer, stared at me with a blank

expression, looking nervous, open mouth, and slowly nodding. (now this was the expression I was actually expecting from him AFTER I told him) But nonetheless I just said.

"Well.......... the thing is....... I kind of......... Have a crush on you"
This teacher at the time was the ONLY person who I came out to. At this moment he looked normally and said "ok". 

This "ok" really threw me off at first because like I said I was expecting after I told him the expression he did BEFORE I said anything. I was worried that because of how nervous I was I probably said the wrong thing like "Can I go get some water". I continued saying that I don't expect anything further to happen between us because it is obviously illegal, and he is straight, married with a daughter. at this moment he became his normal self. 

Smiling and saying he was very flattered (a whopper of a lie haha) but as I said it is illegal and unethical. At this moment another student walked in and I left for the bus. (it felt like I was in there forever that I was shocked that the bus was there. 

The next day he had me stay after class and explained that he had to tell administration about the conversation we had simply because he could get in a lot of trouble for it if he kept his mouth shut. I understood completely even though I told him to keep it between us and he said they wouldn't be too serious about it, so i didn't really worry. 

However the next day administration said they had to call my parents about it and they

would actually figure out I was gay. After they called and I went home we had a long talk and I opened up so much about my sexuality. I have to say I am thankful that I did this. I know most people were not in the same situation as me from same sexuality crushing so if you tell your teacher it might not be the same experience it was for me. But I am so glad that I have finally opened up to my family about it and I feel like a giant weight was lifted off from me. And to this day, this man is my favorite teacher, and I feel it will stay that way.

The teacher and I both act as if nothing ever happened. He does not ignore me or try to distance himself like I was worried about at first.