One reader to our Guys Into CMNM blog wrote to ask recently: (That's you, Allen. Thanks). I thought there might be others here on Tribe who might also be interested starting or joining a local Clothed Male / Naked Male group in your local area. See our blog at:
Question: I wanted to see if you had a group of CMNM in northern Indiana for me to join? Any ideas and/or contacts I could make to join in the area? Thanks.
Answer: So.. what do you do when you live in a rural area or far away from a metropolitan area?
Are there any local groups and if not, what you do to get one started?
(Answered by 'sunbuns', Kelly Lewis, editor and admin, Guys Into CMNM blog and social networks).
While they may be members of one of our several social networking (online) groups who live the your area, Northern Indiana (or southern Mich or northwestern Ohio), I don't think there are any real (off-line) CMNM meetings or events -- at least not yet.
CMNM hasn't been recognized for very long and it's still not commonly understood - even by the very men (particularly gay men) who are so turned on by it. There are elements of it in so many activities / situations that are NOT simply sexual by definition. For example, there may be a men's nudist group in your area or close by. While many don't advocate sexual behavior at their events, some don't prohibit certain types of opportunities where naked and clothed men can intermingle.
Another form of CMNM often occurs in certain male sports or fitness situations - joining a YMCA, or other type of fitness club, or amateur sports league often gives a guy (CM or NM) a chance to interact with other males in clothed or naked situations. Obviously, there may not be any overt sexual behavior but it can nevertheless be highly stimulating.
For overt sexual situations, you can try a gay baths/sauna. I think Toledo has at least one, and there are certainly some in a few of the major cities around you; likewise a few gay bars have events where nudity (or semi-nudity) is condoned, or even where it is encouraged in backrooms, or enclosed patios, etc.
Of course, you can try to start a group -- or at least - hold a CMNM event in your area. I have lots of ideas and would do as much as possible to help promote in on our blogs, and social networks, etc. Depending on when it's held, I might be able to attend or organize/host part of it (I'll be traveling in North America from August 1 - 30 -from Hawaii to New York, from San Franciso, California to Provincetown, MA).
One way to start is to make your interest known by joining one (or all) of our Guys Into CMNM social networks. You may want to use a separate email address (since your real identity may expose you to some unwanted noisiness or scrutiny). However, in today's world, it has become less of a problem publicly admitting that one is gay. However, homophobes and morally self-righteous extremists still exist (and may actually be thriving).
It's probably obvious but it will take some initiative and some effort on the part of at least one person to get such an event or group started. However, even one is not enough. Therefore, you have to try to encourage or attract guys to actually participate FIRST as people -- not as sexual objects. If you try to 'round up' a bunch of hunks for your own private orgy, it's not going to work unless you look like a male fashion model and have the body of an Olympic athlete. To be realistic, most guys into CMNM are just regular guys. The guy down the street or the one who works at the mall or in local office building. What's it going to take to get them to come up with the courage to attend a CMNM event. My advice for guys trying to get a group started is to first make it a fully clothed gathering to initially.
Then a part of the group's activity can be to do something that involves nudity for a fairly short and non-threatening, fun activity - such as ask (or hire) a nude model for some sketching of the naked male form. Or watch a movie where male nudity is a recurring theme or important point in the plot. Hold a pool party or barn dance, play badminton or horseshoes, and allow some of the participants to disrobe. Set up a fashion night or a costume party in which the 'models' strip for a certain 'runway' event or make it a fund-raiser for charity by letting the audience bid for removal of each piece of clothing for some 'lucky' or willing volunteer who, thereby, gets stripped.
Sexual behavior (penetrative anal or oral) does not have to be involved - especially when the group's members are just meeting for the first time. If there are sparks, then it's better that things develop slowly so that everyone knows the boundaries and feels comfortable acting within them before starting any more 'aggressive' types of CMNM behaviors or situations, especially those involving domination or humiliation or mild bondage.
It's not easy but it can be done. It's just not going to happen over night and the key to first find a couple of others who are interested and also willing to be patient with the slow development of the group. Most guys who are turned on my other men sexually just want to jump to the wild orgy -- and that's NOT going to happen in most cases. If you want sex with strangers, then use Craig's List or go to a gay sex club, or travel to where there is one.
I know I've gone long to answer, but it was a good question, and one whose answer I can attempt to make an appropriate blog entry. Good luck and let me know how I might be able to help out.
Kelly Lewis, "sunbuns" - editor and admin, Guys Into CMNM blog and social networks
VISIT these sites below:
( Our blog which also links to CMNM groups)
(This is a mishmash of different sites and tools that, in effect, works much the
same way as a single integrated social network does).
(My Tumblr devoted to cmnm photos)
(Our group (limited members) on JustUsBoys.com)